I consume too

There is a level of superficiality with which I previously went through my life. Without thinking as critically as I should have, I could go on long car rides in the middle of the night with my friends, not wondering about what it means to own a car or waste gas. These things didn’t matter if I was having fun.

The concept of becoming a more conscious consumer first arose during Unit 1, when I realized that the food I regularly consume might be contributing to environmental degradation, as well as destruction of peoples’ livelihoods. I had considered conscious consumerism previously only in the context of the clothes I bought. I previously felt like I didn’t have the time to research where my clothing came from, so I only bought used clothing because this at least somewhat quelled my guilt.

I cannot believe that investigating these things was not previously a priority to me. I can’t believe how easy it was for me to continue acting in ways that was destructive towards the earth and fellow humans.

Learning about mining reinforced these ideas in a very big way. I own an Ipod, a cell phone, and a car. Where did the materials that make up these technologies come from? Did a mining worker die of emphezyma in the mine that produced the pieces of my car? Was a river filled with toxic sludge from a mine that produced parts for my phone?

The question of what to consume and why is still a huge struggle for me. I don’t need a cell phone, but my life is seriously enhanced by it. I don’t need a car, but in order to get to my internship this summer, an internship with an organization that seriously benefits its’ community, I must drive there. How do these things add up? Is the pollution I’m producing from my car not worth learning about how to be a better, active citizen?

There must be a balance that can be maintained. I now know how destructive the production of these products are, and I now feel like I can take personal responsibility in doing further research into where my metals are. But to completely isolate myself from society, to live completely self-sustainably on a farm in rural Rhode Island would make it fairly difficult for me to be doing the kind of work in cities that I want to be doing. This kind of lifestyle would take up a lot of time and energy, and I would not have the opportunity to do that which I really love. Although I think it’s really important to be reevaluate my values and making sure that my actions align with them, there’s a certain extent to which my life must be wrapped up in the suffering of others. I will do all that I can to reduce the destruction I inevitably will cause, but I must also not be overburdened by the guilt that comes with knowing how privileged I am.

The only solution I have is balance. I can bike more, and take public transportation more. I can grow two-thirds of my food. I will not be cajoled by advertisements and new technologies. I can live a simple and fulfilling life without retreating and isolating myself from the rest of the world. I can live without guilt, doing all that is in my power to help the world, yet courageously accepting the limits of that which I cannot do.

Mirah Sand
Simon's Rock College of Bard